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Outwardly she looks just like any other suburban white woman.  She looks like her neighbors and her friends.  Her face wears her titles of wife and mother and while not unpleasant it is forgettable.  She lives in a nice house in an upper middle income suburb with her nice husband, her nice kids and even her nice dog.  She works, wants for nothing and announces her religious affiliation with mock heraldry to anyone who will listen.  She smiles the smile of someone with a secret.    The secret is her secret life as a cyber coward.    Behind the façade is a bully, every bit as mean and deliberate as Lori Drew, the 49 year old woman who was recently indicted in the cyber bullying case involving the suicide of 13 year old Megan Meier of  O’Fallon, Missouri.  Unlike Drew this coward, who shall be known as Mrs. E. is a racist cyber coward.  She is an adult cyber bully who spews her hatred by using e-mail remailer services and fictitious identities.  She has even gone so far as to enlist the aid of her friends to assist her in her almost unrelenting hate campaign against a black woman.     What makes this case particularly distasteful is that the women have never met and the language in the e-mails makes numerous references to being a “Christian”, how busy the devil is and how unforgiving God is.   From her standpoint black people, women in particular, are less than human, sub-standard “awful things” that harbor a variety of unmentionable sexually transmitted diseases.  The vitriol flows in her e-mails like water from a poison tap.  It permeates the soul of the reader like an ugly emotional stain and takes them back to a time best forgotten.              This cyber coward/bully has enjoyed the luxury of white privilege, the ticket to societal acceptance in a world where persons of similar ilk endeavor rigorously to sustain the idea of separatism.  In her world human worth is measured in shades of whiteness.  Her God is white, her church is white, her friends are white and her life is white.   She is blinded by her own imperfections because she only sees white.              Very few states have legislation on the books defining adult cyber bullying as a crime.  The cyber coward here is guilty of cyber ethnic intimidation.  Her communications are very carefully scripted veiled threats and serve as permanent testament to her real life cowardice.  She is repugnant and disreputable.  She represents the very worst in humanity, no matter what the race or color. 

 ©2008Marsha Dean WalkerAll rights reserved

BB King sings The Thrill Is Gone as a reflective journey of an intimate relationship that is no longer satisfying because the other partner has done him wrong and no longer meets his expectations.  That same feeling is translated in many ways for consumers.              So much hooplah including full page print ads announce the events.  News crews are dispatched to report live and anticipation mounts with each passing day, hour and minute as the day finally arrives.   It is the grand opening of a new store or a new mall.  In this case it is the new Steelyard Commons development in Cleveland, Ohio.            Built on the site of the old Republic Steel -  J&L Steel mills site,  the $120 million dollar, 125 acre open air retail  shopping center is home to many familiar retailers.*   Target, Home Depot, Best Buy and a Wal-Mart SuperCenter  serve as anchor stores.  Other nationally recognized retail chain stores such as Old Navy, Payless Shoe Source, Marshall’s, Radio Shack and others complete phase one of the project.            Weeks and weeks of preparation led up to the opening days.  Countless yards of ribbon secured each entrance, just waiting for the first customers to cross the thresholds. There was live music and giveaways.  Neatly attired smiley faced personnel stood stoically ready to meet, greet and assist the new customer base.   The stores were neat, well lit and conducive to a good shopping experience.              Fast forward six months -   the shopping cart corral at Wal-Mart is often trash littered and the contingent of smiley faced employees waiting to help have all but disappeared.  In their stead are sullen-faced, hard to find beleaguered staffers in no great hurry to do anything but clock watch and wait for the workday to end.   There is an endless collection of shopping carts banked near the customer service desk filled to overflow with “put backs” and discontinued items.   The staff working the deli counter often needs the sound of a Big-Ben alarm clock to jolt them into serving impatient customers who struggle with spending money in a store where they are ignored.  Unmanned checkout counters result in long lines, with the faithful weighing whether the price structure of the super retailer is worth the aggravation.            Following the hypnotic open red circle logo of Target or “Tar-Jay” to its faithful fan base, the first thing you notice is the quiet.   It is so quiet it can take ten minutes or so to find an “associate” to make inquiry of, the exception being the fitting room attendant.  The quirky pricing system and the unique integration of some lesser known designers in with much cheaper Asian imports is attractive to some shoppers, however, the integration of extended sizes with the smalls, mediums and larges are only displayed on the clearance racks. Cleaner than its huge sister rival Wal-Mart, the environment is much more sterile.  Chatty cashiers often fail to place a bag of purchased goods within reach of the customer, resulting in repeat trips and unclaimed purchases.            Home Depot is a lawyer’s dream.  Aisles that were clear on opening day are now cluttered with floor to near ceiling ladders, carts and stock or sealed off , rendering the store not particularly user friendly for the physically challenged customer.   Savvy shoppers are often more familiar with the location of items than the staff, which like the other two stores seems unavailable for assistance.               Best Buy, a national leader in consumer electronics is reminiscent of an unguarded toy store.  Everything imaginable is displayed, however, finding someone to ask about availability is another story.   It is not unusual to have to walk the store to find help that may or may not be knowledgeable enough to provide any assistance.  I was searching for a microphone for a tape deck.  After waiting for over twenty minutes for an associate and explaining what I needed I was advised not to waste my time but to just go to Radio Shack instead.            Yes, the thrill is gone.  The thrill of clean stores, friendly, helpful associates and easy to navigate aisles has been replaced by an attitude of indifference and the knowledge that I only shop there because it is close by.  Like BB King sings, I too have been done wrong.  I have been wronged in that my expectations of something new and different and wonderful have been dashed.  The promise of good service and a pleasant shopping experience has been replaced by disappointment and disillusionment.   The thrill is definitely gone. *Source – First Interstate Properties ©2008 Marsha Dean WalkerAll Rights Reserved

When it comes to sexuality there is no shortage of labels assigned to lifestyles.  Homosexual, heterosexual and bisexual are terms we are all familiar with.   In terms of recognition, bi-curiosity is the new kid on the sexuality block.   Most people have their own definitions of what each lifestyle entails.  Opinions and/or phobias are formed based primarily on ignorance and the inability to think outside the established societal box.There are identifiable behaviors that are common to the “big three” that separate it from bi-curiosity - behavior, orientation and identification.  Sexual orientation is established at birth but is neither realized nor actualized until years later and is marked by a specific gender preference such as romantic responses, feelings, and desires.    The attendant behavior includes the gender selection of a partner.  Sexual identification is usually the group of affiliation.  In the case of bi-curiosity because there is neither a lifestyle nor a preference and there is no sexual identification affiliation.  More times than not it is the desire for sexual experiences between members of the same sex, however, occasionally homosexuals will experience a curiosity to have sex with a member of the opposite sex. 

Gender flexibility is usually nothing more than satisfying a curiosity or scratching a particular sexual itch as it were.  There is neither an emotional component nor quality of life issue involved.  It is merely a sexual exercise to answer a question of whether or not same sex sexual stimulation is a satisfying experience. 

Two of the most famous studies of the demographics of human sexual orientation were Dr. Alfred Kinsey’s Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948) and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (1953). These studies used a seven-point spectrum to define sexual behavior, from 0 for completely heterosexual, to 6 for completely homosexual. Kinsey concluded that all but a small percentage of the population were to one degree or another bisexual (falling on the scale from 1 to 5). He also reported that 37% of men in the U.S. had achieved orgasm through contact with another male after adolescence…  -Source: Wikipedia

A recent interview with a bi-curious male gives insight as to one possible avenue of how men begin to realize their same sex curiosity.  It is a well established fact that physiology plays an important role in male sexuality.  He was in his early 40’s and recounted how during one of his heterosexual relationships his partner would engage in mechanical anal sex play which was very enjoyable.  He began to wonder what anal intercourse with a man would feel like and if it would feel any different in terms of intensity.  The fantasy continues as he has not engaged in that type of same sex sexual contact to date.  He related that at a later date during a conversation with an openly bi-sexual female the question of bi-curiosity was again raised.  Her contention was that if it feels good, a same sex encounter might be just as satisfying.  Her suggestion was to visit an adult bookstore and wait to see if he was approached by another make patron.  As he sat masturbating while watching porn in a video booth in an adult bookstore, an unidentified male approached him and began to perform oral sex on him which was very enjoyable.  When I asked if he experienced feelings of confusion, guilt or angst he replied no.  I then asked if he went to the bookstore expecting to have a same sex oral sex encounter to which he replied in the affirmative.  This was to be a true test of his presumed bi-curiosity and whether or not he would find the encounter pleasurable or a complete turn-off.            The curiosity seemed focused more on which gender could provide the most intense orgasmic release under unique circumstances.  Apparently men who engage in this type of behavior are seeking a “get it done” physical release type situation.  Foreplay is not an option and the no harm, no foul rule is in play.            Several other interviews with bi-curious men seemed to echo similar sentiments.  When questioned as to whether or not they felt their bi-curiosity was a manifestation of some latent homosexual tendencies, the response was a collective and decisive no.  Universally they agreed that it was more a desire for anal penetration and inquisitiveness regarding the difference between oral sex performed by a woman as opposed to being performed by a man.  Most admitted to having been introduced to anal sex by a partner using some sort of vibrator or strap-on device.              These interviews also strongly suggested that the “partners” were generally experienced gay men or bisexual men who were comfortable with same sex encounters; however, visits to several male bi-curious websites indicated that there are “communities” of straight bi-curious males seeking the same.  The respondents ran the gambit from married and single professional men to blue collar workers to college students who admitted that their first encounter usually occurred at a party where covert sexual activity was occurring.  The men also revealed that many times the encounters were an attempt to sexually please a female partner who enjoyed voyeuristic male to male interaction.  The men revealed their greatest fear of discovery was that their home lives and other relationships would be upset due to the narrow mindedness of their significant others and/or friends.There will always be great debate on the morality of certain sexual behaviors but currently gender flexibility remains a closeted affair with virtually no possibility of a social coming out and  it remains in the netherworld of sexual acceptability. ©2007 Marsha Dean WalkerAll rights reserved

For most Americans the presidential campaign has become a farce.  Almost every minority is represented - the oldest, the older, and the junior upstart.  Estrogen and testosterone duke it out in a seemingly 24/7 battle that is gut-wrenchingly nasty at its worst and a huge political joke at its best.  None of the candidates stay on point as they have yet to inform us of what their particular point is.  These antics and pathetic attempts to win our favor and thereby our votes beg the question of exactly what does a person need to do to become President of the United States.            According to Article Two of the constitution a person considering running for president must be at least 35 years old, a natural born citizen of the United States, and must have resided in the United States for at least fourteen years.  Experience has taught us that these basic requirements only allow you to “fill out the application” but does not tell Mr., Ms. or Mrs. American citizen how to become President of the United States.            To effectively mount a successful presidential campaign you have to possess the wisdom of foresight.  From the time you were old enough to make any independent decisions you had to weigh the effect those decisions would have 20 or 30 years down the road as there was always someone taking notes.  You had to be a kind, generous, considerate and respectful child no matter how traumatic your family situation may have been.  You had to be god-fearing from a very early age and learn what memberships would work most favorably for your future aspiration.              In order to be considered a serious contender you had to pay extra close attention to the content of all school curriculums, and choose college courses carefully after doing research on all of your professors.  Their political stances and your association with them could prove costly in your future campaign if they ran contrary to those of any mainstream contingent.   From your very early religious experiences you would have had to “decode” all teachings and sermons lest there be some hidden subversive message hidden in the delivery.  You would have to have been extremely judicious in your selection of childhood friends, college roommates and neighbors because at any point during your campaign these relationships may surface.  Woe unto the candidate whose senior high school locker partner had a distant relative currently serving time in some penal institution for a RICO or sex crime.             As an adult your personal and intimate relationships had to have always passed muster; that is to say they had to have all been gender appropriate, age appropriate and no divorces resulting from indiscreet dalliances.  The don’t ask, don’t tell rule does not apply when it comes to having what it takes to become President of the United States as there will always be someone who will ask because there was someone taking notes.  You have to be married when you declare your candidacy.  This will present an acceptably wholesome image to the American public, a symbol of family values.    If you don’t have children you will be compelled to explain why.  A first dog is acceptable.  A first cat isn’t.              In order to become President of the United States it will be necessary for you to master the technique of double speak so that liberals and conservatives alike will be able to decipher your message.  You will have to learn the subtle art of feigning ignorance so that when the faux pas occurs you will have an excuse for misspeaking.  You will have to study some of the finest theatrical speeches ever made to learn the art of persuasion.  Old reruns of the West Wing,  Bill Pullman’s very presidential speech in Independence Day, Joe Pesci’s impassioned pleas to the college poobahs in With Honors and Al Pacino’s delivery in Scent Of a Woman all come to mind.              If you want to become President of the United States you will have to look good, smile good, smell good and think on your feet and not how much your feet hurt.  You need to know the bible, and be able to quote everyone from Plato to Shakespeare to Robert Heinlein to Erma Bombeck to a veritable who’s who in politics.                Suffice it to say in order to become President of the United States you need to be a squeaky clean, reverent armadillo without coming off like an arrogant, obnoxious porcupine.  If you can manage this then they, the American public will like you.  They will really, really like you and their votes will tell you that you have what it takes to become President of the United States.   ©2008 Marsha Dean WalkerAll rights reserved

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